Learning

i'm going to overcome you. you won't be able to control me anymore. i don't know if i really mean what i say, but i want to believe this. all the counting, thinking, and fear, it's going to be over. i'll come to accept myself. i'll come to accept that spending time on you won't make me happier. i'll never be where i want to be, i'll never be satisfied. you made me starve, you made me weak, you made me lose my mind. i don't want to turn back to you. i know i'll feel like i want to come back, like you're the only thing i can strive on to feel good about myself. but i can't do this any longer. i can't constantly think about these things that shouldn't be dwelled over. i shouldn't base my life around you. this is going to be hard, but i want to be done with you for good. i'm learning to accept myself the way i am. dear eating disorder, fuck you and all the pain you caused me.