Rant

why do you insist on doing this to me? why do you insist on destroying everything i feel for you right when i say something meaningful? you won't understand where i'm coming from. you won't believe me when i call you selfish, THAT'S HOW SELFISH YOU ARE. you make me sick, so sick that it makes me cry. i try to resolve things, i'm the one who always has to bring up the forgivness. always. it's always been me. why does it always have to be me? you know why? because you can't fucking do it yourself because you're scared. grow some balls. i tell you i forgive you, it seems like it's what you want more than anything. do you expect now for everything to back to normal now after you've been ignoring me for a week? hmm? do you? is that what you think is going to happen? wrong. i still feel like i should be yelling at you. i feel like i should still be mad even though i've forgiven you. but i'm not going to yell at you. i'm going to be nice to you, try and make things better. what do i get in return? you fucking get smart with me. why do you have to insist on doing this to me? why do you insist on destroying everything i feel for you right when i say something meaningful? you make me feel like i don't even matter sometimes, no matter how much you tell me otherwise. how am i supposed to trust you? don't you see where i'm coming from? stop being so self absorbed, and think of the scared, sad, little girl who hides behind her love stories all day avoiding the real world for a second. think about her like she thinks about you. maybe you'll stop being so self absorbed. maybe you'll stop being so selfish.